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Dating needn’t be difficult – especially when you have a shot at finding fellow singles with whom you might have a deeper connection.But if you’re stuck in an online dating rut and searching for love in your immediate surroundings, it’s really only natural that your eyes will rest first on the person you’re closest to.And while it’s easy to assume, as I did, that you know what the other person wants because you were friends already, relationships are never truly easy to navigate.That’s why Kirschner advises, “If you’re not completely smitten [with your best friend], just keep it a friendship.” Because that’s usually the biggest risk of pursuing a romantic relationship with a friend: losing that friendship altogether.
Not surprisingly, I began to think, “Wait, should I revisit this, now that we are both single at the same time?
“You kind of know what you’re getting yourself into,” she adds.
It’s more likely, for example, that “you know what qualities you may not appreciate as much and you won’t be caught off guard.” At the end of the day, all this adds up to what everyone wants—someone who you can let down your guard with, who knows the real you, and accepts and loves you for it.
That said, what is love, and life, without a little risk?
Although my relationship crashed and burned, the lessons I learned were invaluable.
I didn’t put in enough effort to dress up for our dinner dates, for example, or explain why I had to stay late at school. Our relationship had evolved from a platonic to romantic one, but because we knew each other first as friends, we took it for granted that we also knew each other’s relationship expectations, which became the root of many arguments.