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And one of the best places to start is to talk about sex.Specifically: male virginity and the shame in ages – talking about the shame and pain of being a male virgin.We blame others for somehow depriving us of sex, as though it were something we were owed.We blame for whatever flaws make us perceive ourselves as unfuckable.Because when we fail to follow the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative, the fault lies with .
We get convinced that college is a nonstop whirlwind of parties and fucking thanks to the “Girls Gone Wild” videos, every college movie since and pearl-clutching moral panic pieces about “hook-up culture”.
What makes this especially twisted is the way we internalize the pressure to fuck, to be a virgin.
When we fail to follow the narrative we get angry, lashing out at others and haranguing ourselves in turns.
They can’t bring themselves to approach women, so they don’t have opportunities to lose their virginity. We live in a culture that seems to go out of its way to imply that everyone is having sex and you aren’t. In fact, the number of people having sex in high school is actually from 54% in 1991 to 43% in 2011.
They continue to get older, becoming even of titanic proportions that casts a shadow over everything they do and who they are. So let’s talk a little about the problems with the way we think about male virginity… Stories of blowjobs being traded as casually as handshakes in high-school, and the hang-wringing over college hook-up culture make the world sound like a never-ending bacchanal for those who are lucky enough to take part. Similarly, college isn’t the hotbed of casual sex that we think it is; students tend to regularly overestimate just how much their fellow classmates are hooking up rather drastically. The first is that we’ve been handed a shared narrative via pop-culture that directly affects how we our lives are supposed to be.
My bitterness and resentment made me a prime, self-pitying asshole costs. Like many virgins, I was convinced that doing so would be a cheat or would render it invalid. Long story short different (aside from “holy shit I had sex”). I hadn’t been magically cured of all my ills and insecurities.